Stefan Chan

Home

For a while, being away made sense. Things were always different but the same. Home is everywhere. As long as you let it, you can sleep anywhere. Home was everywhere.

It got to a point where I didn’t miss being anywhere. Everything was new. Everything was exciting.

As the days trekked along, I did start to miss things. I started to miss people. Things are fun and when they’re unfamiliar you just put up with it and accept it.

Then I started to miss everything. I missed home.

.

But it’s good to be back

Mr. Tanaka

He was a story telling traveller, only he wasn’t a traveller. It was his job to entertain the crowd, even if it was me, and two others. That didn’t get him down too much, though you saw his heart drop in his eyes, but it only lit up a bigger fire inside.

“I am the story man!” His voice pierced the whole building. He was so excited and passionate it almost scared me. It did scare me, I could have even cried.

“I am sorry. My english no good, but I have composition in english”

He went behind the curtain to grab something and come out with some cue cards. The first one read “Japanese Monster”

“This is japanese monster. So terrible. It is a Kappa. It will grab you under the water!” and it was a quickly drawn japanese water troll scribbled in with crayola markers.

“This is Oni. So very very large with big red body and big iron club!” And the next cue card had a japanese devil that looked like the one from Dragon Ball.

“And this next monster is very very large body.” He moved the cue card slowly to reveal the next monster. “The very evil snake with nine heads! But, the most monster of all…”

He slowly revealed the next card, “Is MY MOTHER! WAHAHAHHAHAA” and he was screaming with laughter.

Mr. Tanaka isn’t even his name. By the end of his performance, I felt a little sorry that not many people were visiting. It wouldn’t matter, he’d look at the new audience and try with all his heart to entertain with his stories.

Thank you Mr. Tanaka.

Journals and Notebooks

One of the best decisions of my life

Reading them again just does so much for you

There are too many things on my mind right now. I haven’t been journaling and that’s why I’m sitting here in the middle of the night.

I’m about to take a first step. This is always hard for me. Logic will always favour this and I know that doing any sort of first step makes me feel more euphoric than browsing around the internet feeling all the feelings from all the things I find. I guess I’ll just have to remind myself that there are things I’d much rather do. It’s pretty freaking hard but I’m learning.

Travelling is one of the best things ever. I’m really glad that my family really enjoys it. I have been to many corners of this world and I wish I could take people with me too. 

Holy this is going nowhere but I’ll just say that nature really humbles you. It puts everything into perspective. 

I should really sleep

empty presence lingers in the air

it hurts and it soothes

.

memories are the shells that once fit

and those shells may become broken 

afraid they will shatter and be too painful to put back together

shattered sounds whistle

and the air brings it all forward

back to the same past 

that left so slow

Octobre 22

The first time I had seen my birthday unrelated to myself was during my middle school trip to ottawa.

We got some time to shop around and there it was, a random store with my birthday on it.

I didn’t realize it was raining until I noticed the washer turn off. It’s the first day of rain and it slips my mind that I turn older today. I don’t know, you’re always getting older kind of thing.

I thought of pathetic falllacies and how the weather reflects your mind sometimes. Today I’m particularly neutral. Nothing is too uninspiring neither is it uplifting. Rain is so very peaceful.

I stopped writing here because I was so afraid. It was kind of silly to. I never stopped completely and I’m going to restart this whole blogging thing. 

Nothing has happened much but the rain is melodic today.